Tunnel Vision

I've talked a lot about surrender in my last two posts. Something that is buried in the idea of surrender is the idea of Tunnel Vision. This term came to me in church tonight as one way to think about living a life of surrender. I've been coming across Romans 8:5-17 several times in the past month or so and every time I read it I become overcome with gratefulness to the Lord for change and for Tunnel Vision.

Romans 8:5-17:

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶The mind of sinful man^e]">[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind^f]">[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

¹²Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. ¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, ¹⁴because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^g]">[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,^h]">[h] Father." ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

(passage copied from biblegateway.com, NIV)

For me these verses speak volumes. They are essential to understanding what it means to live a surrendered life, a life of following. As I embark on this journey of changing my life, not by my will but God's Will, I am learning how to do it in a practical manner. What does it mean to be like Christ daily? We can learn from examples from Jesus time of ministry but the whole Bible of course serves as an example of how to conduct ourselves in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. For example, Romans 8:5-8 shows us that we should strive to be focused on things that the Spirit desires, at all times, not on what our sinful selves desire. (Notice I say "strive", I use that word instead of leaving it out of the sentence because it's something that we work towards, walking this Christian walk, it's a daily exercise). God changes our focus once we surrender to him and we get this Tunnel Vision, we are seeking things that please His Spirit, not things that grieve Him. For me, the idea of Tunnel Vision is helpful because I imagine a narrow area that is acceptable to the Spirit. I don't use narrow here in the sense that life in the Spirit is limited but narrow in comparison to all of the things that exist in the world and all of the behavior that is acceptable in the world. If I continue to think of this narrow area, I can populate that area with things that I know, through the Bible, about what the Spirit desires and strive for those things. (i.e., Galatians 5:22).

This Tunnel Vision is not a complete denial of the world as it is or the fact that we live in this world and deal with many unpleasantries, but I think this Tunnel Vision is a way to focus our actions and reactions. It's a way to make sure that we are constantly considering the Spirit and moving in the Spirit. My goal during Lent is to strive to work on my Tunnel Vision, to meditate throughout the day on things that please the Spirit, to walk, talk and behave in a way that is pleasing to the Spirit. I pray for wisdom that when I'm outside of the Spirit (inevitably this will happen) that the Lord is able to call it to my attention and that I can address it and grow from it. I hope that you would consider doing the same.

Delight in His Will and Walk in His Way

Retreat Day 1:

So, I'm actually excited about this experience to come. The last retreat I went on I felt spiritually overwhelmed and unprepared. I walked away defeated. (I think I probably went into it that way too). This time around I feel excited and ready for the challenge. My heart is in the right place now, a place of surrender and in a position where I'm ready to receive, to "step into my blessing" so to speak. I now know that God has a lot planned for me, that I don't want to do things my way anymore and that I want to learn what it means to be what He wants.

I decided about seven or eight months ago to surrender. I literally feel like I'm no longer in control. I've prayed that prayer and sang that song (I Surrender - The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir) so many times but my heart was never 100% there. I never truly meant it because deep down inside I didn't want to change my life. I liked the control. I liked making my own rules. I wanted to surrender some parts of my life but not all of them. I'm almost positive in knowing that I'm not the only odd many out on this. I think as twenty-somethings, we want to live the life we see on TV and in magazines -- partying, drinking, clubbing, etc. I'm not judging ANY of those things because I've been there, I've desired those things and have lived that life to some extent. At times I've desired any one of those things more than I have God. I've indulged my flesh more times than I care to count. The only problem is that it has often left me feeling empty. After a night out of partying, I only feel tired the next day (sometimes a little hungover--I'm being honest here), sure I had fun but it was only momentary, it only lasted a few hours. The next day was un-filling and just another day. I think when you indulge your flesh and succumb to the things that the world would have you desire, you're always chasing that "high", that moment of excitement. It is so fleeting. It's like you have to fill-up your tank every weekend or weeknight just to "feel good."

I've found that the inconsistency of a life that desires the world only leads to unsatisfaction. Maybe it's me and my personality but I crave consistency, I think most people do. The world leads us to believe that consistency is boring, but how boring can consistency be, consistency here meaning the constant "fullness" one has in Christ, when you're always full. When you always feel complete and you don't have to "fill-up" as often becuase you are running on "eternal" gas.

In Christ our gas tank is always full. There's no need for the inconsistency because he is the same all the time. He is the same God who died on the cross and rose again, everyday, every weekend and every night. What truth and greatness is in that statement! I know now that I don't need to "fill-up" my tank every weekend and indulge the things that my flesh desires because my tank is full in Christ, that void is filled.

Life is changing and I'm following where he leads me, thankful that I'm not following myself anymore with my decisions only based on temporary happiness alone.

(I backdated this post because little did I know that the next day after I wrote this that at a group session at my retreat that the speaker would speak about the very thing I had thought about and meditated on the night before?!?! Talk about confirmation, the Holy Spirit and God talking to me, I hear you God, loud and clear! Of course the speaker had some biblical references to back up what I had been feeling and thinking the night before. See Ephesians 4:17-19 (also see 4:17-32)).

Ash Wednesday 2010

What ways do you honor God? Today you may be like many people walking around the city with a cross of burned palms on your head, I know I am. What does it really mean though? Why did you wake up this morning and think, "I better get my ashes today"? Was it just habit? Where was your heart today and where will it be for these next 40 days of Lent?

I'm writing these questions because I am not entirely sure that I myself have answers to them. I'm not sure that there are right or wrong answers but they are questions that are necessary on this day of reflection and sober thought.

Since 2010 has started I have been on a personal journey to discover the answers to some of these questions and above and beyond these questions, the ultimate question is looming...what does it mean to be a follower? What does it mean to follow Christ? The only thing I have learned is that it means an inward surrender. It means to realize that your life is not your own, to know that your plans for your life aren't nearly as great as His. It means to consider every thought you have and every word you say and to question whether the Holy Spirit approves. It means to think about his actions, his death for us when we didn't deserve it. It means to think about what it living with that knowledge, hope and love.

My hope for everyone during this season of Lent and beyond is that we can search ourselves for the thing that makes us who we are. That we can search ourselves for the ability to be a follower. That we can be a follower from the inside out, changing our thought life and then our outside. I hope that today the outward symbol on our heads is just the beginning of the revolution beginning to occur inside our spirit's.